My Dying Soul
by bleedingheart22
Summary: The loss of her family brings unlikely relations back in Inuyasha's world. Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or Kagome. I dont own crap. xP
1. Prologue

Prologue

It was a bright day in Inuyasha's world. Though, it should have been a cloudy day since it was such a sorrowful one.

"Well, I guess this is good bye...." Kagome said with a frown on her face.

"Kagome, I'll miss you!" Shippo was as sad as she was. Sango bowed her head and looked at the green grass. Kagome was like a sister to her and now Sango's sister figure is leaving, maybe forever. But she knows she has to. Kagome deserves to live life her own way. And there is no way she would want to live in a world where demons dwell everywhere.

"I will miss you too, Shippo" Kagome kissed him on his forehead.

"Kagome," Sango reached out and hugged her. "You take care of yourself, okay?" After a moment, she let go. Next comes Miroku.

"I'm glad you let me tag along throughout this adventure." He too hugged her. Kagome wasn't at all worried of him touching her. Although, Kagome wondered. Maybe it's because Sango was the new, important, lady in his life. But Kagome was still happy that he'd say farewell** to her.  **

But where was that dog demon? After the shards were finally completed, it seems like Inuyasha was slipping away from Kagome. He sat there, against the tree, not even saying a word.

Kagome watched him. She waited for him to at least say good bye but a long while already past. She turned around to, once again, enter the well. And as she did so Inuyasha got up and spoke.

"Kagome, wait." He said without emotion. He looked at everyone, giving them a signal that he wanted time alone. 

Everyone, including Shippo, left the two alone. He gave her one final kiss on the cheek and ran along with the others. 

Inuyasha stood in front of her. He stared straight into her eyes. "You finally got your wish. You can finally live your own life in your own time."

Kagome bowed her head. "I never wished that." 'I wished to stay here beside you at all times.' She thought. 

Inuyasha took in a deep breath and finally reached out and hugged her. He dug his head into her hair. Her sweet smell was intoxicating.

After a while, he gently pulled away. And in his hand he held the completed Shikon** no**** tama. "Promise me that you will return."**

Kagome looked into his golden eyes, and then turned her head to the jewel on her palm. "But...I thought you wanted to be a full breed." 

"Not anymore. Kagome, I want you to keep it. Please, promise me you will return to us with this. Return to...me."

"I...promise." She responded. Kagome gave him her last hug, wrapping her arms around his neck. Tears began to fall from her eyes.

For a long moment she finally let go and turned to the well. Kagome could hear him walk back to his spot by the tree. There she stood before the well, thinking about how her life would dramatically change. She couldn't move at all. Something was stopping her from entering the well. But what? Was it because she still hadn't told Inuyasha her true feelings? Kagome thought to herself "Maybe this isn't the right time." But when is the right time? When is she able to tell him? 

She finally found the courage to jump down the well. And after a few seconds, she was back to her world. 

While in Inuyasha's time, his knees met the grass. "I've lost another women in my life...." He, too, wondered why he didn't tell her. He wanted to. He truly did. Now, the only chance of telling her is if she would ever come back to him. 

Back to Kagome's world, she looked inside the well as she clutched her palm onto the jewel. She is really going to miss them, especially Inuyasha. 

Kagome ran to her house. "Mom! I'm home! The job is done so I don't think I would return back to that world..." She felt the tears coming again. Her eyes were turning red, as well as her cheeks. 

Mrs. Higurashi motherly voice spoke up. "Oh, that's wonderful." She saw Kagome run up stairs. "Wait, don't you want to eat first?"

"I'm not hungry." She yelled across the hall. Kagome slammed the door behind her. 

She laid the back of her head on the door and closed her eyes. Nothing but tears fell from her eyes. Her heart was in pain, for some apparent reason. Maybe she knew what it was but was unexplainable. 

At this moment, Kagome wanted to return into Inuyasha's arms again.

To be continued...


	2. Part I Tears of Sorrow

Part I - Tears of sorrow

It's been, exactly, a year since I last saw him. For months I've been thinking of going back, at least for a while. But somehow I'm afraid of going back. I didn't know what it was. Who knows? Maybe the fear of seeing him might excite me too much that I might do something really stupid. Anyways, if I decide to go back now, he would what ask, "Why do you come back now??" Yep, that's what he would say...unless he changed. 

I wonder if he did change. I wonder if he got nicer or something. Well, all I know is...I truly miss him. 

***

It's pretty late. I could hardly find my way home because of this darkness. 

My mom would wonder why I came home late. She's probably worrying about me by now. Although, I'm kind of surprised that she didn't call my cell. She usually does whenever I go out. But hopefully she wouldn't yell at me once I get home. 

***

Kagome put the key inside the keyhole, hoping that once she comes in, her brother would greet her right away. But it didn't happen. The house was oddly quiet. It wasn't normally like this. Usually, the TV would be on or her gramps would be outside, cleaning, despite the darkness. But none of that was checked off her list. She didn't let it bother her.

As she stepped into the living room, she sat on the sofa, trying to relax from the long day. She closed her eyes and sighed. She then opened her eyes and wondered why no one noticed she was home. 

Kagome got up from her seat and looked in the dinning room. Nothing. It seems like no one was home. Although, she heard something. Something that really freaked her out. If no one was home, then whose footsteps did she just hear? 

"Mom?" she asked. No response. Her heart was pounding so loud that she could nearly hear it. She was a few steps away from the kitchen, the place where she was sure she heard the footsteps. As she sat a foot inside the kitchen, her eyes went wide. She gasped at the horrifying sight. And at the top of her lungs, she screamed. 

On the floor laid the dead bodies of her mother, brother, and her grandfather. She ran to them as tears fell to the floor. "No! No! This is all a dream! God, tell me this is a dream!" she screamed. They were completely dead. No pulse, no heartbeat, no signs of life. Kagome opened her reddish eyes and looked around. On the walls, there were handprints of blood, probably coming from her little brother's hands. At the sight, she sobbed even louder. 

Kagome held their corpse in her arms, sobbing a little more. When she opened her eyes again, she saw a shadow. A shadow, maybe, of a male. She swung her head behind her, but no one was there. And once she turned her head back to the bodies of her family, the shadow still appeared before her eyes. Her heart beat faster than before. But then, the shadow showed signs of movement. Once again, she swung her head to see who it was. She screamed. 

And there he was. The killer who slaughtered the only family she knew. Kagome gasped for air. It felt like she couldn't even breathe anymore. She got up on her two feet and ran. And all the killer did was turn his head. He didn't run for her. Instead he walked. 

Kagome knew she was next. Without hesitation she ran out the door.

It appeared there was a change of the weather. It was raining so hard that Kagome was drench with water, mixed with blood. 

She didn't look back. Kagome ran as fast as she can. She didn't even know where she was going. Without looking both ways of the street, she ran across the block. And in an instant, Kagome was aware of the bright light that flashed at her. But it was too late. She was hit by a car.  

To be continued...


	3. Part II Living for Nothing

Part II - Living for Nothing

All I could remember was a big flash of light. And the next thing I know, I'm in a room with white walls and picture frames of nature on them. I felt kind of dizzy at one point and the next I felt sick. If I were able to, I would have cried tears already. But I couldn't for some reason. I still couldn't drop the thought of my family's death. I wanted to so bad that I could have stuck a knife through my heart right about now. Dammit! I should have stayed. I shouldn't have run away from that murderer. If he would've just killed me, then I could have been with my mother and my brother and my grandfather. Life isn't fair. It's not fair at all. 

Now...what can I live for? I've lost everything...and I know for a fact the there is no way of retrieving my loss. 

On the other side of the room, there was a luggage, maybe full of clothes. It looks familiar. And finally, I realized it was mine. It figures. I might have to live a life somewhere else. But I don't know where to turn to. I don't know if I even have any relatives. And anyways, if I do and if I have to live with them, they will never be compared to my last family. I mean, will my next support me like they did? 

God, I just want to die right now. I don't know what I did so wrong to deserve this. I just.... I just want my old life back. 

***

Having to witness the death of her family was enough. But fate still wasn't done with her. Suffering from broken ribs and a broken arm, she doesn't know what else could be worse. 

Kagome stared at the luggage, thinking about how her life would change forever. She then wondered who packed her stuff. But it didn't to matter as much. All that mattered now is where she could live the rest of her life. 

Through her long minutes of thought, two investigators came in. They were here to question her about what happened. Unfortunately**, they already knew some information but non about the murderer. **

She didn't want to talk about it. But she had no other choice. If she wanted to know about what exactly happened then she must answer their questions. 

"Ms. Higurashi, I'm detective Collin and this is detective Hikaro." Kagome did nothing but stare at them. "You are the daughter of Mrs. Higurashi, correct?"

"Yes.."She said weakly. "What...happened to them. I.... know you have...information. Tell me."

"We don't have much information, but we know that the murderer came in by the back door. Unfortunately, it wasn't locked. We don't know who it is yet. He or she was smart enough not to leave any fingerprints. It didn't even leave the weapon that was used."

"It was a he..." She responded.

The two investigators immediately looked into her eyes. "You saw him?"

Kagome slightly nodded.

"Do you mind if you tell us his descriptions?"

"I don't think...I would be much of any help. It was too dark to...actually see his face. All I know is...he had brown hair."

"Care to tell us your whole story? How far do you know?" 

The room was in complete silence. Kagome didn't want to say anything. She didn't want to think about it at all. It was too much for her to bear. Kagome didn't want to see those visions in her head. Their dead bodies, the blooded handprints on the walls. But, then she spoke anyways.

"I came from my friends house to do something for school. The sun had set already when I came home. It was probably about...7:30. When I came inside, I knew something was up. The whole house was silent, it was just very odd. And then, I heard someone in the kitchen. I thought it was my mom but when I took a step inside, I saw...their bodies on the floor. I ran to them and fell to the floor at the horrifying sight." Her voice cracked. Suddenly, she felt the pain on her chest, coming with a lump in her throat. "And, behind me...was someone. I'm sure it's a man. In his hand was a knife, covered with blood. That was my cue to run out of the house. It was raining pretty hard and so I didn't see the car that was coming my way." Kagome tried her hardest not to cry. 

The room was silent once again.

"We'll try our hardest to find him. We promise." That was their only response**.**

Kagome turned her head to the other side of the room. She knew it wouldn't happen. They don't have enough evidence. Nor did they have suspects. Her family was very peaceful. They wouldn't start arguments with anyone. It seems like everyone liked them. But who would do such a thing? And why them?

The two investigators were on their way out of the small room. Kagome laid still. The only thing she moved was her mouth. "Where...will I live?"

They didn't know what to say. It would be hard, telling her that she has no choice but to live with foster parents. "Your...going to have foster parents. They'll pick you up tomorrow morning. By then you would be well enough to walk. We're sorry..."

***

You're sorry? What is sorry going to do for me? You have no idea how it feels to lose the only family you have. You don't know how it feels to be alone, with no one beside you. I...don't even have friends anymore...  I lost them...I lost everyone...including Inuyasha. 

There is no way in hell am I going to live with some foster parents I don't even know. I have to escape...tonight. But where do I turn to? If I just wander around the streets they would easily find me. Especially when I could hardly walk. I might have to go to another state. But how? I don't have a car...I don't have money. 

Inuyasha...

***

Kagome held the Shikon no tama tightly in her palm. Yep...you thought of it. She had an idea of going back. To live there forever...if Inuyasha would allow it. 

Kagome was still injured. She didn't know if she would be able to walk from the hospital to the well. The least she could do was try.

Kagome slowly got up from the hospital bed and opened her luggage. She tried her best to get dressed as fast as she could before a nurse comes in.

She put on the first thing she saw. Some jeans, a T-shirt, and a sweater. She also grabbed he jacket and was on her way to escape.

This was hard. Kagome shouldn't just walk out of the hospital, dragging her luggage with her. It would be too obvious. She thought it over. And finally her eyes met the window. Kagome weakly opened it and looked out. It was high enough for her to jump out without getting seriously injured. At least that's what she thought. "Good thing I'm on the first floor of this damn hospital." She mumbled to herself. 

Kagome carelessly threw her luggage out the window. She was next to jump out. And so she did so. As she landed, she let out a little whimper from the broken ribs. 

***

It didn't take me long to walk from the hospital to the well. Although, I felt terribly weak. I knew at any minute I would collapse.

There I stood. In front of my house. It's hard to say good-bye. Especially when you've lived here for so long.... with your family. But that's all gone now. There's nothing I could do about it. I just hope...the souls of Sota, mamma, and gramps is in peaceful harmony. 

Good-bye...


	4. Part III The Arrival

Part III - The Arrival

I felt so weak. I could barely even stand on my own two feet. I tried to hold on to anything that was in my way, for guidance to the well. 

This was it. My last destination. There's no turning back now. There's nothing else to turn to anyways.

...I'm coming...Inuyasha.

Wait for me.

***

Kagome was afraid. It was a long way down. But she couldn't just stand there forever. 'Inuyasha is waiting for me on the other side. He has to be...'

She held on to the sacred jewel, preparing for the long jump. Kagome threw her luggage down to the bottom of the well. She was next to fall. As she landed on her two fragile feet, she screamed from the pain. 

Everything started to go black, as she was being transported through the time warp. But it wasn't the warp. It was her. She was near to passing out. 

***

Meanwhile, in the feudalera, Inuyasha did the usual. He sat on the green grass, leaning against his little cabin, near the well.

It was such a quiet day. It's been always quiet ever since everyone went their separate ways. Actually, no one did go their separate ways, except for Inuyasha of course.

Stubborn, he was. Before Miroku and Sango ran off to be together to bare a child, they asked him to live with them in their new home. He didn't take that offer. Although, Shippo did. 

'Till this day on, he waited for her return. He'd been recently having doubts about Kagome coming back. It's been a long year since he saw her. Why would she come back now?

Miroku told him many times to forget her and to find another. But he refused. In fact he would get mad. How could he forget about her? After all he'd done for her and what she'd done for him. 

Even if Miroku tried giving him advice, Sango would barge in and come to Inuyasha's rescue. Usually she would tell him to leave Inuyasha alone or maybe say, "He isn't like you, Miroku. Let him do what he wants."

The only person he would love to have pups was Kagome. No one else but her. 

Inuyasha took a deep breath. He would literally talk to himself in his mind. Telling him how stupid he was for not making any moves on her. For not even telling her how he really feels. 

Inuyasha was beginning to get mad at himself for everything. But the refreshing breeze was there to calm him. Actually, it reminded him of Kagome. At the times of distress, she would be there for him. To calm him from his suffering. 

"Kagome.... I miss you so much.." he mumbled to himself. He began to get up from his seat to go inside his new cabin. 

As he was about to slide the door open, his ears twitched from a disturbing sound. A sound coming form inside the well. Maybe something dropped inside it or something. But he wasn't sure. 

Inuyasha's heart started to beat faster than he'd imagine. 

"Kagome...."

Inuyasha ran to the well, hoping to meet Kagome once again. And as he looked in, he saw his only love. 

***

A moan escaped my lips from the intense pain. I'd been aching since the jump down the well. I had no idea where I was, nor did I know any of my surroundings. 

Why am I here?

I didn't remember anything that happened. All I could remember was the well and the blackness that consumed me. 

It took me a while to get everything focused. And when everything did, I saw him.... beside me. 

God, he hadn't changed at all. At least physically. He's still handsome, still sexy...what am I saying? At a time like this, I had to think perverted thoughts.

He had such a concerned look in his face, as if he was asking me what happened without saying a word. I tried sitting up from the futon beneath me but I had no luck. My whole body was in pain but at least Inuyasha was there to help me. 

"You've come back...."

I couldn't speak. I was too ashamed. He's probably wondering why I came back. I don't think I should tell him. At least not now. I tried my hardest to block all the memories of my family's death. 

Inuyasha got up and walked away. He looked out of the window as if he was in deep thought. I wondered what he thought about. Maybe he was just waiting for my response.

"I've decided...I want to stay here…with you.." I said hesitantly. "That's if its okay with you."

He continued to look out the window, still deep in thought. He slowly turned his head to face me. 

"Yeah. It's okay with me." He sounded unsure which really worried me. Is he not happy to see me?

A few seconds passed. I could help but think Inuyasha doesn't want me here. Why did he say it that way? So skeptical. 

I feel alone again. I don't know why. I'm here with the guy I loved for so long and yet...I feel so alone. Pressure began to build up on my chest, making it hard to breathe. The pain that I picked up after I saw their corpse began to come back to me. And before I knew it, it started to take over. I sat up, trying to cover my face as tears fell down my cheek. 

The memories. The pain. It's back.

***

Inuyasha immediately noticed Kagome's tears. He was shocked. He wondered if it was something he said. Although, he couldn't think of anything wrong with the few words that left his lips. 

Inuyasha walked up to Kagome, with the same concerned face he had on when she woke up. 

"Kagome, is there something wrong? Is there something I said?"

Kagome let out a small meaningless giggle. "It's not you." Looking at him gave her more tears to cry off. "Inuyasha...I'm alone..." 

He let out his arms and held her close to him. She sat there, with him, crying her heart out. 

A/N: Okay since I haven't gotten a review yet, maybe it's because the chapter was too short and meaningless to the whole story. So there. I extended it. Okay maybe it still isn't long. Well I tried! 

Hopefully I would get a decent amount of reviews this time. I'll update soon. 


	5. Part IV Blinded by Loneliness

Part IV - Blinded by Loneliness

She cried herself to sleep that night. Inuyasha wondered about her. Why did she say she was alone? He'd ask himself that question over and over. 

' She isn't alone. She has me...' 

Inuyasha was confused. He would wonder what ever happened to the feelings he had for Kikyo. Maybe it was the fact that she was never herself again. Anyways, the Kikyo he knew really well was dead...dead forever. 

Although, Inuyasha didn't care. It wasn't his problem that she changed. Hell, he didn't care about Kikyo, period. Now that he has Kagome, there is no one else he would be happy to be with. 

' How long is Kagome planning to stay here? It seems she brought a lot of clothes. ' 

Inuyasha stared at her angelic face for quite a while now. There he was, besides her, thinking about how he really felt. He was unsure of those feelings. Yet, he was the only one who knew him best, and he can't even decide what his true feelings are. Yes, it's could possibly be love...but it felt more than that. 

A year ago, every time they would be left alone together, he would feel pressure against his stomach. Before he wouldn't have any idea what it could be. Every time he gets that same feeling, he would constantly stare at Kagome. And when the thought of love pops into his mind, he would try to think of another reason besides that. But deep inside he knows it is. 

That was when he was truly stubborn. Now Inuyasha no longer denied his love for her. The only problem was...how is he going to tell her.

He was planning to tell her, eventually, but then he changed his mind. It wasn't the right time for that. And anyways, he was afraid of her reaction. What if she only likes him as a friend? Or worst of all...a big brother? He would surely make a big fool out of himself. 

***

Morning finally came.

The sun shined over my eyelids, making me stir and wake up. My eyes were still so swollen from crying last night. I would cry even more if I had tears to spare. I sat up, finding myself alone in the small cabin. It's nothing new anyways...I'm always alone. Maybe even 'till the day I die.  

I just want to leave this damn world. I have nothing left...so why stay? If I die...I wouldn't have feelings. And the pain will disappear. 

That's all I want...out of the world. I held my legs closely to my chest, thinking about what I should do with my life. 

Then…Inuyasha came to thought. Where is that mutt, anyways??

I wonder if he wants me around. He hasn't even showed any signs of welcoming. And that's making me worry. I guess he hasn't changed at all. At least I don't see any changes now. 

I gazed around the empty room, unable to think straight. Nothing but silence. My breath went heavier than before, as if I was unable to breathe. The pain came back, not giving me any mercy. I was tired of it. Tired of it all. I anxiously looked around for any sharp objects. I'm the only one who knows myself best and yet I never knew I would be capable of even thinking about killing myself. But isn't it for the best? 

There are other options. One of them is just talking to someone or expressing my feelings...but whom do I turn to? No would understand me...no one would understand how I feel!

***

Kagome sadly looked out the window, admiring the birds. They were happy with there life. Unlike herself.

Happiness...another aspect that was taken away from her.

It sounds impossible for her to become happy again. But there is one being that can grant her happiness. Inuyasha. 

Kagome started to sob once again. She felt so confused. To her, life was worthless without happiness. Her feelings meant a lot to her. But after darker feelings took over, she did nothing but think of the end of her life. She was depressed. No, beyond depressed. 

You would wonder why she hadn't thought of Inuyasha as her savior from pain. She was so blinded by her feelings that she thought the only way to end it was to end her life. How is it possible to not notice this? Inuyasha has been by her side, protecting her from everything. Why wouldn't he protect her now? Inuyasha might not be the particular person who would understand people's feelings. But he can learn. If he was up to it. 

Kagome stopped her tears. There was complete silence in the small room. All that was heard was her breath and her heartbeat. Kagome's mind went blank. She thought of nothing that moment. Without emotion, she got up from the bedding and tonelessly left the cabin. The fresh breeze blew past her, as if it was in a rush to its destination. 

Kagome didn't turn back. She was in some sort of trance she created herself. And it seems like nothing would stop her from walking. 

She walked deeper into the forest, passing the dry well she'd been coming in and out of. Deep within her memory there was a location near the well where she would spend most of her time while Inuyasha rested from his injuries. Her own cliff. A cliff where there was peace and quiet. Its sight intrigued her, as well as its fresh breezes. 

When she finally arrived, she couldn't help but remember her silent thoughts she use to have. She would ask herself the feelings she'd acquire for Inuyasha. But right now, all she would ask herself was whether what she had left was worth living for. She slowly walked up to the end of the cliff and looked down to its depths. 

Kagome was so deep in her thoughts that she wasn't even aware of her surroundings anymore. She couldn't feel the cold breeze nor could she see what's beneath her**. **

Finally, she snapped out of her world and into the real one. Kagome took in a deep breath and released. She closed her eyes and had begun her plan. Letting her foot out to the edge, she was so close to meeting the cliffs depths. But she hesitated. She took a step back, thinking of what she was about to do. She became ashamed. She suddenly threw herself to the ground and cried. ' What am I doing! My mother was the one who gave me life and yet...I was about to throw it all away! '

Kagome cupped her face and wept. This was the only way to release her pain, even if it would come back. While weeping, she began to feel something beneath her. Something was moving. And before she knew it, the edge of the cliff was collapsing, along with her fragile body. She gasped as the cluster of rock fell under her. And with what was left of her strength, she held on for her dear life. Kagome screamed as loud as possible. She couldn't hold on any longer and felt her grip loosening. And within a second, she let go, letting out another scream. 

A/N: I'm so sorry for making you people wait so long. First of all, I had so many tests and I had to study like crazy. And after the regents I was so busy with homework and work itself. I'll try to update sooner. 


	6. Part V Words which Converted to Pain

Part V - Words which Converted to Pain

Inuyasha's ears twitched. It sounded exactly like Kagome. ' She's in danger.. ' Without any hesitation, he ran like a wolf against the wind. 

' I'm not losing her again. Not now, not ever. ' 

Following her intoxicating scent, he made a few turns and straight to the cliff. Inuyasha paused, wondering why she would come to such an isolated_ place. Second by second, her fragile fingers were slipping away. And right away Inuyasha eyes caught them._

Kagome, losing her grip, was just about to fall. Luckily he jumped down to the ground, sliding to the edge of the cliff, catching her wrist after letting out her scream. Inuyasha rushed to pull her up onto the safe ground and held her in his arms. 

Kagome looked so terrified. She was there, about to lose her life, a life that was never completed. Although, this was what she wanted before, and yet Inuyasha had no clue.

It felt like hours. They sat there, so close together. Kagome couldn't think. All there was to do was..shiver..in fear, in horror, in sadness. Little rivers of tears suddenly streamed down her pale cheek.

***

It was already nightfall. We haven't talked since this morning and I'm starting to worry about him. What is he thinking?

He hasn't even made a move from his corner of the hut. I, myself, was just trying to prepare for his yelling and yapping. I bet he's about to ask me what I was doing by the cliff. 

"What exactly were you doing there?" I knew it...I really had no intention in telling him because I know he isn't going to understand. No one would.

"I wanted some fresh air. You don't expect me to stay in a small hut like this to rot away, now do you?" I couldn't thick of anything else to say. And for that moment I hoped that he would just believe it.

"And let me guess. The edge of the cliff started to crack and you nearly fell with it." He said in a sarcastic voice.

I slightly nodded.

"Do you really think I would fall for that excuse?!" He yelled across the room. With that short echo, it followed with a sigh. "There is something wrong. I know it. Why is it you wont tell me?"

I was silent...and I was planning to stay that way.

Inuyasha turned his head to me, trying to look into my eyes. Of course I had to look away. I know he would see the pain in its depths.

"Kagome, what's bothering you?" His voice was so calm and soft, as if he was so concerned of my feelings.

"Nothing 's wrong." I said bluntly. 

"Cut the shit, Kagome. Why did you say you were alone when I'm right here? And how long are you planning to stay here?"

"What are you trying to say? You don't want me here?!" My eyes started to get red. I could feel the burning sensation. I don't know how I'm starting to feel. But I felt a sharp pain in my heart. 

"I didn't say that. I just wanted to know since you brought that." He pointed to my luggage. The luggage that was full of all my shit - clothes, make-up, dozens of shampoo. It's all a waste. I wouldn't be able to wear those clothes anyways, since everyone would think it's typically bizarre. I don't even know why I brought them along.

It became silent once again. I didn't want to answer his question and I think he knew I didn't want to. So I just thought of a dumb way to get away from his questions. 

"I'm going for a walk." I stood up and headed for the door. I didn't what to tell him anything...because I know he just wouldn't understand. 

"Dammit, Kagome! Can you fucking answer my question already! Stop trying to avoid this subject!"

I felt my face heat up. The tone of his voice and the rudest way he asked me made me angry. I clutched my hand into a fist and let out what was in my heart --- the pain that was bottled up for days. As you can already see...I couldn't hold that amount of pain inside any longer

"I'm staying here forever, OK! Are you happy now!" I felt sick to my stomach. Maybe I yelled a little too loud.  "The only reason why I need to stay here is 'cause I lost what's closest to me! I lost Sota and mom and grandpa! Everything was taken away! They were all...murdered.." My voice suddenly cracked. Even if I felt a huge lump forming in my throat I continued anyway. "And when I said I was alone, it's because I am! Yeah, you're right here in front of me but you're never there for me emotionally! Anyways I wouldn't expect that from you, anyways. You wouldn't care. Because you don't. The only reason why you always saved me from danger is because you needed me for that damn jewel you didn't even get to use! Selfish little bastard. All you cared about was yourself and a stupid person who is already dead!" 

I was panting and gasping for air because all those words took every inch of my strength. And so the usual happened. My knees met the floor and I, with hot burning eyes, covered my face in disgrace and humiliation. And after explaining everything to Inuyasha I realized myself that I should have completed my plan by the cliff. I should have made that fall so that I can end everything thing that I went through. 

I wiped my eyes and began speaking with the last of my strength. "I should have just got it over with. Dammit, why did you have to come and save me? You...YOU should have just stayed out of my way!" I was down on my knees, continuing what I have been doing for the past few days. Crying...that's what I'm good for. And when I would finally lift my head up, I saw pain in his eyes. Maybe that was too much for him. Maybe it was too much for me...I don't have the slightest idea but all I know is...I've done damage to both of us…even if it was mere** words.**

Inuyasha closed his eyes. Probably to hide his pain. "You were there...to kill yourself." He paused. "That isn't a way to escape your pain. That shows weakness." And suddenly his voice became strong again.

"Well, that's easy for you to say. Like you said before...humans are weak. And that's what I am Inuyasha. I'm a human. I'm weak. Even...even the first time I met you, I can see it in your eyes that you considered me as a little helpless human who couldn't take care of herself." I took a deep breath to relieve my pain. "What do you care anyways? It's not like you even care about how I feel. Just...just stay away from me! I don't need you!" I was on my way out the door, still with wet tears streaming down my hot cheeks. 

"Who ever told you I didn't care!? Are you blind? All this time I've been saving your ass from danger and I still am! And if I didn't care about you then I would have left you suffering a long time a --"

I interrupted. "You needed me for the shards! I'm not that stupid to not notice that, Inuyasha!"

And with that he started to get very irritated. "You don't know what's going on in my mind! Every minute, every second I worried about your safety!" 

I hesitated. I stopped every muscle from moving. And the past suddenly overcame me. All the times he saved me and yet all the times he hurt me. I felt like my heart stopped beating. But if only it actually happened. I wish I couldn't feel emotions...Emotions toward Inuyasha...

"Then...why didn't you worry about my feelings? Why did you continue loving Kikyo...instead of...me?" It was unbelievable. I felt so dizzy with all the thoughts that went through my head. 

I still had my back facing him. I couldn't see his expression but he was silent. I know he was surprised...I know I made a fool out of myself. He doesn't love me back...but...at least I tried. 

A/N: Dear lord. How long has it been since I updated? Sorry for such a long wait. I guess I've gotten lazy for the past...I don't know. Two months? I didn't really care much about continuing since I haven't gotten reviews from anyone. But I guess a story isn't a story without an ending. I still have to think about one though. And I still want to fit in some LEMON in this story of mine. Unless you think it's unnecessary. Tell me what you think or what is on your mind about this story! Review! Inspire me to continue! Otherwise I guess I might have to give up. 


	7. Part VI

Part VI - Decisions   
  
I went off on my own, through the dark night. The night blew cool winds that gave me chills, leaving me refreshed but cold. I was hoping Inuyasha wouldn't follow, and luckily he didn't. I needed some time alone. Some time to think. Some time to relax my nerves. Since lately has been stressful. I continued walking further through the woods, unworried of getting hurt by any demon roaming it. I could care less now. I held myself with my arms rapped around me. It was a beautiful night. Though, I still ruined its beauty with my drama.   
  
I finally reached the well sat down on the edge. I flopped my legs down inside the well to let them hang freely. My mind went blank for a while. And then I thought, tonight has been one regret. I wished I hadn't said anything to him. I wished I didn't attempt to kill myself. All this just made things more complicated than it already is. The tears started to come again. I hated it when I have to cry. I hated feeling so weak.  
  
Why is it that I have to become miserable?! What have I done to deserve any of this!? I've lost so much! I've lost my family, my friends! I've lost...Inuyasha...I'm so alone. I sobbed and sobbed, trying to let go of my anger. I wanted to tear my heart out...because it hurt so much...  
  
I opened my eyes while I still cried a river. Maybe...maybe this is all a test. To see how long I can go on my own. But still, I feel weak. What if I can't do this by myself? I looked up in the sky. It's...beautiful.  
  
***  
  
I reached the door of the cabin, afraid to open it and find him not there. I took over my fear and did so. I saw him there, still at the same spot and probably still in deep thought. I was hesitant before stepping in.  
  
"Inuyasha...I'm sorry I charged at you like that. It wasn't right of me to just yell at you and I should have told you from the beginning why I decided to stay. I apologize. But I've been thinking. I've decided to go back to my world. I can't stay here. I don't belong here. So...I think should be going."  
  
From Inuyasha's reaction and facial expression, I'd say he wasn't listening at all. He sat there, with his arms crossed, eyes closed as if he was meditating. This pretty much angered me to the core. Because here I am, trying to say farewell and he's just sitting there like a jackass! So I stomped my way to my luggage, forced the rest of my stuff inside it and pulled it along behind me.   
  
"Good bye!" I said angrily.   
  
***  
  
Inuyasha grabbed Kagome's wrist and tugged gently to get her attention.   
  
"You're not going anywhere."   
  
"What? Yes I am! I'm going home!" Kagome gave him a confused look and tried to walk away. As she was opening the door, Inuyasha leaned against it, forcing it to close.   
  
"You can't leave."  
  
"And why exactly not??" She seemed very pissed at this point. Why is he going to just order her and not allow her as if he was her father?  
  
"Because I want you to keep me company. It gets lonely here you know. And don't forget, I own you now." He simply grinned.   
  
"What?"   
  
"Don't forget. I saved you so many times before. And it's only fair that I get to keep you."  
  
He certainly had a point. She was always put into danger and he was always there to save her. Even if she said many thanks, to him it wasn't enough. Though he did tell her once that she was in life dept.   
  
"Are you insane? You can't just decide to keep somebody just because you saved them many times!" Kagome was getting frustrated by the situation. This isn't the time to claim someone especially when she recently lost her family. "I'm leaving. No matter what you say or do, I'm still leaving." She continued walking to the door but something stopped her.  
  
Inuyasha embraced her within his arms, holding her tight enough. Kagome's eyes grew wide with surprise. Her heart jumped.   
  
***  
  
What is he doing???  
  
I could feel my heart racing inside its cage. And I suddenly couldn't breathe. I'm wondering why he's holding me for these long seconds and why I'm feeling all warm inside. I could feel him breathing on my neck, lips touching my flesh. I wished this moment wouldn't end.   
  
"I love you."  
  
Within that moment, I gasped, dropping the handle of my luggage. I didn't know what to say or do. I simply froze and couldn't move at all. This had to be a dream! It's way to good to be true. It has to be. I shook my head and undid his tied arms around my waist. I need to get out of here. Before I start believe his words are actually true. I crouched to pick up my luggage only to find him crouching with me, holding the hand that was being occupied.  
  
"Kagome. Please believe me when I say this. I wouldn't say it if it wasn't true!"  
  
"This is all a trick! You just don't want to be alone. It's always you. You and your selfish reasons! Well, it's great that you've found my strongest weakness." My hands started to shake and my legs began to go weak. "This isn't gonna work with me. You're too late now." My voice faded with those last words. And I hoped it would sink into him mind. Unfortunately it didn't.   
  
With a strong pull, I found myself against him, face to face. We were so close to each other that it felt kind of awkward. I looked into his beautiful golden eyes, while he looked into mine. And before I can wonder why we were this close, I fell into a deep kiss.   
  
***  
  
Kagome's body froze within that second. Eyes so still, she closed them and gave into his kiss. He held her close and tight against his lean body, not wanting to let go. He could remember his last kiss he shared with Kikyo. Amazing yet subtle. But this one was a lot different. Thinking that Kagome is Kikyo's incarnation you'd expect it would feel the same in a way. But it didn't. This was filled with passion and love. And they both realized so.   
  
It most have lasted a minute or two, even if it felt like hours has passed. Kagome realized what she was doing. Giving into her weakness and letting him win. She opened her eyes only to see his closed ones. She was confused. Deep inside she wanted it so bad. But then she couldn't just let him have his way. He won her heart too many times now, and it just won't be fair. Because she never won his back. She took the strength to let go, though it wasn't so easy. But when she did, Kagome had to push him away before falling into another steamy kiss. She then began to tear up again.  
  
***  
  
"Just stop it already, Inuyasha! I can't do this...I just can't. I've already made my decision." I looked at him for the last time, with my sorrowful eyes, and said "I'm sorry but...good-bye"   
  
I was proud to see myself walking away from this. Though I am certain that I'm still deeply in love with him. I walked and walked until I could feel the distance growing between us. He stayed still and didn't follow me. Maybe he finally understood me when I said good-bye. That whatever he does, it wouldn't work. While I took small steps back to the well, I though about all those adventures we've all went through. I thought about the times when I enjoyed being with them, the times when I'd be scared, the time when...he made me cry. I wondered if he was even worth the tears shedding for. I mean he did pick Kikyo over me. Was...was Kikyo better than me? Was she prettier or sexier? What was it about her that made Inuyasha beg for her? Then...maybe I shouldn't answer these questions. It has been said and done. I'm heading home.  
  
I....I miss my family so much. When I need them the most, they're not there...  
  
I would do anything for their support right about now.  
  
I tired my hardest to fight those tears. I was so tired of crying. I must promise myself not to cry ever again. For whatever reason, I won't show my weakness. Not ever. I promise.  
  
***  
  
Kagome began to walk again, still taking very small steps. A lot of things were still in her mind. Her family, her school, her future, and maybe even Inuyasha. It was him who hurt her the most. Yeah, the death of her family had inflicted her more than anything, but it has already been done and she wouldn't be able to do anything about it. But with Inuyasha she still had many choices. She stopped again. The thought of Inuyasha bothered her. She thought, 'should I turn back?...No..'  
  
Kagome sighed, still unsure of what to do. Part of her wants to go back. The other says it's for the best. All the voices, all the captured pictures in her mind. She just wanted to bow her head off.   
  
She took deep breaths and reminded herself that she already made her decision. The only thing that was bothering her about it was...was she really going to be happy with its result.   
  
***  
  
Inuyasha sat alone in his small hut, thinking hard about this weeks happenings. Was this really happening? Or is it all just a bad dream? It doesn't seem believable when she says her family was murdered. She was a good and warm hearted person who put others first and herself last. And how ironic is it that something tragic would happen to her? Why must she lose something or someone so dear?  
  
To him, he can actually relate. How hard it is to lose something so dear. How painful it is inside.   
  
And then he thought... 'I'm losing something dear once again'.  
  
He couldn't let that happen. She came here to live, she wanted to stay with him, and he blew it.  
  
He knows this cannot happen. Because if it does, he can never get her back. And still, she can't go back. The murderer is still out there. He could still be after Kagome, waiting in bushes for her arrival. Ha! This time he has two reasons for her to stay. And he can use it against her.  
  
Though, this was no time to celebrate his coming victory. He had to get her back.   
  
***  
  
It was chilly night and I barely wore anything to cover myself completely. A long sleeve wasn't enough especially when you're wearing a skirt. But at least the cold kept me occupied from thinking about everything that happened. I looked around for the last time. While the trees danced and the winds sang, I said my quiet good-byes. Too bad the moon and stars weren't out.   
  
Ah, the stars. They comforted me when I'd sleep outside with my sleeping bag. And next to me would be Mr. Willows, the teddy bear my mother had made me when I was younger. As childish as it may sound, Mr. Wiggles and I would watch them together. It was....the only thing that would remind me of mom.  
  
I miss them....  
  
While reaching into my quite large hand bag for Mr. Wiggles, I've noticed he wasn't there. I was sort of disappointed that I must face him again. I guess, because it would hurt more if I did. But I can't leave Wiggles behind. He's all I got left. I dropped my stuff right by the well, hoping it would still be there when I come back, and ran for the cabin so that I wouldn't waste time.   
  
It took me more than a few breaths and took me less than 10 minutes to reach the cabin. And then it began to rain. I complained and cursed at the weather. I'm beginning to think this really isn't my day.   
  
I stepped my damp self inside the warm and cozey place. And the first thing that came to my mind was....  
  
"Where's Inuyasha?" the disappointment of facing him left while the disappointment of him not being present began to sink in my chest. I immediately found Mr. Wiggles on the floor near my bedding and picked him up. I could feel a warm tear finding its way down to the corner of my cheek. Was I this disappointed?   
  
I spotted the door I came in from and thought it's time for me to leave, permanently. On my way out, I embraced Mr. Wiggles, finding the comfort I needed from this very part of my life. And then...when stepping out, I saw a figure, standing in the rain....with....with...my stuff!! I wiped my tear in a hurry and ran out to scold the person with my things. And when I got closer...the figure began to look familiar. It was Inuyasha.  
  
A/N: I know I promised to write a lemon on the next chapter but this is already getting long. I figured that with the additional sappy/angst stuff, it maybe better to put all the romance with one chapter. Thus, leaving you in suspense once again...HEHEHE. It's an evil thing to do but please don't let one chapter with no lemon discourage you from reading the rest. I WILL TRY TO WRITE THE NEXT CHAPTER AS SOON AS I CAN SO KEEP CHECKING!! 


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